Today my mum told me a story about the daughter of a friend of hers.
She was in a very similar situation to me. She had supported her husband financially throughout their marriage and she had bought the marital home with no financial support from her husband.
Her husband left her when she was pregnant with their first child.
And took her to Family Court for a Financial Settlement.
Because she had been a professional with a high earning potential before becoming a single mother, and he had been a tradie with a lower income (just like me and DH)..... he ended up getting the entire house and she had to pay him child support for the 4 nights a fortnight when he cared for their child. Even though she had no income other than her pension.
Yeah, I know. Just another sorry tale about the injustices dished out by the Family Court.
Except that the point of this story is that that man's lawyer was the same one that DH is using.
She probably wore the mother out. She probably kept on going until there was no energy or money or sanity left.
How can any part of society not see that pregnant women, and mothers of young children, are vulnerable when it comes to being traumatised by the use of money and litigation as a weapon against them? How can any part of society not allocate rights to those women regardless of their ability to pay for hot-shot barristers or aggressive lawyers?
THIS mother of young children is barely coping with the process now. I literally did NOT cope with the process when I was pregnant with my second child and responding to DH's applications to the Family Court. And the fact that I fell apart then is being used against me now. I am being labelled "emotionally and mentally unstable" because of my reaction to the manner in which he left me and his resulting litigiousness during my pregnancy.
It was a RESULT. Not a CAUSE. DH is using it as justification as to why our marriage broke down. And now he's using it as evidence that I'm obviously lying while he's obviously telling the truth.
Monday, May 4, 2009
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13 comments:
Big hugs are all I can offer. If I ever hear of a fair story resulting from a family court decision I'll let you know.
xoxox
I'm sorry : (
(((hugs))) Here's hoping your case sets a new precedent. xoxo
I can hear the frustration in your words.
Wishing I had something to say that would help. I'm sorry. That's the best I can do.
Once again, is a new lawyer possible? Here some advocacy lawyer groups do work on their cause pro bono. The article in the Herald mentioned a women's legal group working on this issue. Any chance you could chuck your lawyer for someone who has a passion for dealing with this and lots of experience as well? Perhaps if they don't work pro bono, they might work at little cost? Getting your own bulldog to match dh's is my only suggestion.
Oh man, you need an advocate who will go in to bat for you.
Is it the same judge? I just had a friend lose half her house and investment property to the ex she supported through 11 years of marriage, and all she can say is "thank god we never had kids".
Why is it that if a woman is strong enough to support she gets SO worked over?
And why do we not see the bastard potential in our once loved ones until it is too late?
Thinking of you and praying for strength. None of this is fair - it will never be fair. It will hurt. But there will be good times...smiles..pictures of the boys...fun days with them that you laugh until you hurt. DH may be able to do a few of the things he is planning but not all. You are smart, funny, good person. You can handle this. Try to set your anger aside it will zap you of your strength. Protect your emotions. Allow time for tears and the painful feelings and then walk on. Do what comes next, bake something you know you and the boys will love. Check out the site www.warmpiehappyhome.com or others that inspire and encourage.
Many Prayers
Rita
Again I can't imagine what you are going through or how you eevn get up and keep breathing.
It must be so hard.
You do and your strength has to see you through this.
I have no more words, but just letting you know I am here and lsitening.
Hugs
Why not let it go? Not for him, but for you. Trade the debt for the children and walk away from this nightmare.
Thank you again everyone for all your hugs and caring words.
I would trade the money for the kids in a heartbeat. Unfortunately that offer isn't on the table.
He MAY get the debt removed. It would be outrageously unfair and insanely wrong, but it may happen. I could live with that.
He will NOT get the children. That is something that I will not consider, nor ever stop fighting for.
He's crazy. Seriously. Hugs.
I wish there were more I could do. This just makes no sense to me.I will just keep hoping that somehow common sense will prevail in your case.
xx
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