I did speak with Toto's Year 7 Advisor. I telephoned him this morning and asked him to keep an eye on Toto. I explained what was going on, and told him that Toto was extremely distressed and anxious and needed to know that there was someone in the school that he could talk to. I also asked him to please be discrete. He wasn't very comforting, but did say that he would talk to Toto during the day.
I then apologised to my Mum. She said that she understood.
I spent three hours sitting at the hospital with my friend today. She was re-admitted yesterday, after a couple of weeks of sliding backwards. It's so sad. So sad for her and so sad for her family. Still, she has a treatment plan and I'm confident that she won't be in there for nearly as long this time.
It did wear me out though. She relies upon me to convince her that she is capable of recovery. I know that I have to look after myself right now, in order to be able to look after my own family, but I can't refuse her in this time of need. I just can't.
By the time I got to Toto's school to collect him, I had a plan for a "recovery evening" for the three of us. It included a bit of baking, a favourite dinner, and a reward for completion of homework (a neck massage, a back tickle and favourite bedtime story).
By absolute chance, I met with the Year 7 advisor at the school gate, and he was much warmer in person. It's possible he's just not comfortable on the telephone. He was very understanding and supportive and reassured me immensely. By chance again, I met with the Principal and had another conversation with him about the situation. I was careful about what I said (I save my DH bagging for my blog) and kept my concerns limited to the impact of the court case on Toto, not the cause or content. He was wonderful. Absolutely wonderful.
And so, despite Toto and I having to lug his incredibly heavy cricket bag home on public transport, our recovery evening went beautifully to plan.
We baked brownies....
Licking the bowl while sitting in front of the oven watching the brownies bakingEDITED TO REMOVE CUTE PHOTO OF BOO LICKING THE INSIDE OF THE BOWL AT THE REQUEST (DEMAND, THREATENED TANTRUM) OF BOO
"Boo, could you get your head any further inside that bowl?"
Completed all the homework.....
...and laughed together more than we have in weeks. It was perfect.(and I know that they're in their underwear, but it's the first thing they do when they get in the door! Go figure!)
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10 comments:
How wonderful to hear that you were able to have a lovely time despite everything that is going on. And to answer your question in yout previous post: no, you are not messing up. I think you are doing a great job in reassuring and comforting the boys. I wish there was someone like you to look after you, because you must feel in total need of reassurance and comfort. I wish I could be there.
xx
I'm so glad you had a good evening. It sounds like exactly what you all needed. And the talks with the Principal and Year 7 advisor sounds like they went really well. I so hope Toto is feeling better.
And I love that photo of Boo with his face in the bowl! :)
How supportive is the Year 7 advisor? I'm just hoping that he really is because Toto is going to need a lot of support. What about our school? Any support there?
I wish you were too, Wikke. xx
Thanks Guera.. me too. xx
Thanks M. Boo is okay. Really. He is able to distract himself better. I will have a word to our principal, but, as you will remember, I have no faith in Boo's class teacher so won't even go there. As a divorced male, he showed himself to be very patronising and PRO fathers "eg: to DH "How incredibly WONDERFUL to have you come to parent / teachers meeting! What an absolute DEVOTION to your child this level of involvement shows!" whilst looking at me as though of course the mother should be there.
I really don't like him. Or trust him.
Your recovery evening sounds heavenly! I love that your teenager is just the same as my two year old when it comes to licking the bowl, its a timeless reward! Take care of yourself too Fe, in all this.
What a shame I've read this too late to see the face-in-the-bowl picture!! Fe, you take such gorgeous pictures of your gorgeous boys. And you take such good care of them - I think the evening you planned for them was amazing. I really admire that. And wish that brownies were downloadable from the internet too, because you've really given me a craving now!
Face in the bowl picture can be viewed here:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3491/3250364774_c5b7461fc6.jpg?v=0
(well, it's not on my blog anymore, so he can't really complain!)
Thanks Sarah and Amanda
A night to cherish :)
you are working thru a horrid situation with amazing strength - even the days you feel totally beat up you still keep on going .... your boys are blessed - you really are all the parent they could ever wish for.
I am still reeling that you can use a school where DH sister teaches .... holey moley that would do my head in !!
and the after school sport thing - what a nightmare ... yes I have just read the last few posts ...
and your friend - give what you can there but save some for you in reserve - your days are not all sunshine and root beer :)
biggest hugs le
(((Big Hugs to you Fe)))
I have read the last few posts when you've posted but haven't had the time to find the right words to convey how much my heartaches for you and the boys at the moment.
I can only imagine it must be a huge relief that Toto has someone to talk to at school.
I did see the picture of Boo with his head in the bowl this afternoon *lol*
Thinking of you often, and what a wonderful job you are doing with the boys throughout this xxx
See if I would give Boo's current teacher a talk on penguins! As if!!! Glad I was there when he had a different teacher. Wonderful that you and the boys had a fun evening.
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