My friend is in danger. It's all too much for her. Those of you who've had major depression will understand, and those of you who haven't probably won't.
It's so difficult for those of us who have had depression to describe it to those of us who haven't. The amount of times people have (caringly) said things to me like "focus on the positive" and "think happy thoughts" and "What do YOU have to be depressed about?" is staggering. It's not a choice. Believe me, it's not a choice. Perhaps it's easier to think of having depression as the same as having a broken leg. You have as much ability to "will" yourself out of it as you do to "will" your broken bones to heal faster.
I feel so bloody helpless. I'm filling her room with blankets, cushions, room spray, books, music (I've lent her my iPod) in a desperate attempt to feel as though I'm "doing something". And then just holding her hand and talking to her while she's slipping further and further downhill.
This afternoon they took all of her "dangerous" things away (iPod earphones, shoe laces, knitting needles etc) and put her in the ICU. Her Dad is with her now, but I'll head back over after he's gone.
On a lighter note (my one and only attempt at humour on this dim day) I saw a Lawyer this morning in response to stuff that DH has initiated. It was long, ardous and ultimately depressing. Still, I have no choice in having to now go down this path. He couldn't help me with the Child Support f*ck-up though (see here and here and here). I'm still on my own for that one.
Crikey. Hope the rest of blogland is having a happier day.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
5 comments:
How do you feel about a Spotlight adventure on Friday?
Depression is a confusing thing. I have absolutely no understanding of it but have seen the effects in others. Your friend is lucky to have someone who does understand.
When I read it, I have no idea but understand what you say. Especialy when I don't know, it's so hard to read. Heavy heavy and so said. Hopefully you can do nice things for yourself. Thinking of you. xjel
Oh Lara, I'd love to. But I think I'll be hospital-visiting. I'll call you if that changes. Thanks xxx
Thanks M. Thanks Jel. It really IS hard to understand when you haven't experienced it. I hope that my words might help change that a bit. xxx
Please tell your friend that there are people thinking of her and wishing her the best that she hasn't even met yet. I don't know what she is going through, but I have been down the same road, if not so far.
And there, but for the grace of the Flying Spaghetti Monster...
Post a Comment