I just got served with family court papers. With a hearing date which falls during our annual beach holiday. It's full of lies and ridiculous accusations.
It claims to be about parenting issues, but if it truly was, would paragraph 15 read "That the wife pay the husband's costs of this application"?????? When the husband owes the wife over $200,000 in unpaid monies on an existing Final Orders? When the wife has not once not complied with those existing orders?
There is steam coming out of my ears. My kids are supposed to be going away with him this weekend and neither of them wants to go. I had to ask them if they would be okay with living with him every second week and both still adamantly said no. I had to explain that he was taking me to court to try and get that, and that if they really didn't want to, I would fight it. But that if they wanted to, I would agree with it. They both adamantly said no. And then told me things that made my blood boil. Things that they haven't told me before because they thought I'd get angry and tell him that they told me and then he would be angry with them. Things that make me want to fight to get him out of their lives forever.
I don't know how, but I calmed myself with them and they were okay by the time they went to bed.
I'm anything but calm.
I'm so angry. And furious with bloody John Howard who put the Child Support and Family Court changes into law. DH is only doing this so that he has no forward Child Support responsibilities. His behaviour over the last 10 years has shown that he has only ever seen the boys when it suits him and has certainly never wanted more access than he has been given. And his current behaviour, according to things that the boys have now told me, demonstrates his unhappiness when he is with them.
Somebody pass me a cigarette. Please.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
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11 comments:
My head hurts - as I am sure yours does too!! Sanity has to prevail at some point - that's all I can think - that's all that makes sense. And the application fees - well that's the straw if I ever heard it.
Fe I am so terrible sorry and sadden that DH persists in this way. The best thing I can say is I am 100% at your disposal to help with anything you need to fight this madness.
J xox
Oh god. Oh, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. He sounds like an exact replica of my ex-husband. It just boggles the mind really. I mean, that someone can sink to this level of vindictive crap. I just don't understand.
*cough* *splutter* *choke* You have got to be kidding me, all that and a request for application costs. Why doesn't he just drop it if he knows the boys don't want to spend time with him? Is he having a midlife crisis or something that he has decided he doesn't want to grow old without bonding with his sons???
Oh, here's a cigarette!!!
When is Toto 12? I'm sure at 12 children then have a say in thwhere they want to spend time, and I'm sure no-one would force Boo to go on his own, if it comes down to it!
I am furious at DH and the situation is putting you and the boys in.
((((((((((HUGS))))))))))
This is wrong and incredibly unfair.
He's being VERY selfish.
I feel for you and your sons.
Oh God I'm absolutely not coping with this. My head has exploded and I don't know where to start.
O FE!!
i thought you had disappeared! i have been entering your blog name with a _ instead of an - and it said it was gone!!
I am so sorry all this stuff is going on with your Ex. It's terrible, but I know it will be fine in the end: you are a great mom and a person deserving of much love. This too, shall pass. hang in there.
Happy days are ahead--just believe. You've been on many incredible journeys in your life-you are a well seasoned traveler--this is just a "bad trip" one day it will end.
Oh Fe - I am so sorry to hear he is continuing with this shit! I think you are doing a fantastic job of staying calm for the boys and I am glad you are venting to us, 'cause you need to!
Oh friggin' cripes. Where does he get off?
Fe,
I have no sage advice for you. I have nothing much to offer up but hugs and internet support.
I emailed you.
Where are you? I also know a good child psych in Manly if you need someone independent for the boys to talk to.
Have you read the book Crucial Conversations? It may be very useful for you in communicating w/ him.
I am so very angry. This happened to my mum over 20 years ago and clearly NOTHING has changed.
Do NOT get me started on John Howard. DO NOT.
I can only imagine the stress that this must cause you. No wonder you think your head is exploding. No words of wisdom from me, just my thoughts and support as you work your way through this.
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