It's just my truth.
I'm feeling much stronger today. Not confident or happy. I'm just calmer knowing that I have a HUGE task ahead of me which, win or lose, I must face. I think it took me a few days to realise that the fact that it is outrageous and unfair and horrific doesn't mean that reason will prevail.
My poor kids. He keeps calling them. They saw him this morning and tried to tell him that they didn't want to stay at his house during the week and he said "That's fine, but next year it will be different. You'll see.". They came back frustrated and upset because it took a lot of confidence for them to say anything at all to him. I wish they wouldn't. He won't change his mind. He's told me as much. They are just trying their best to fix this so that I'm happy again. Sweet little men.
Still haven't found the diaries. J is coming around tomorrow to help. I'm hopeful that a fresh pair of eyes and a clear mind will find them.
Thank you SO much to all of you who have commented, emailed and texted. Your support is everything right now. Especially because I'm completely incapable of talking about it.
And please forgive me my public display of human vulnerability.
Now... I've distracted myself today by watching the SBS series "First Australians". I missed it on telly and have been watching it on the SBS website. Phenomenal stuff. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it.
Here are a couple of pics taken from my office window today..... (now who could feel sorry for me with a view like this!)...
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10 comments:
There is nothing to be sorry for. I actually think you are amazingly strong and I admire the way you have shared your emotions so candidly.
Also, how special that the boys are trying to 'fix' things. Aren't they lovely.
Nothing to apologise for Fe. This is your blog and you write what you want. And you know we don't begrudge you a public meltdown when you need it, specially if you can't do it IRL. We're all here, still reading, whether it's meltdowns or sunshine.
And bless your gorgeous boys too. They are so sweet.
xxx
You are amazing. The very picture of a plucky girl hero. Anything a comic relief sidekick can do to help?
Hey Fe, your blog, your crazy life, your great view. Oh, and your Dickhead Husband. Bleh. Keep on paddling honey. Let it all out.
Sorry, dickhead ex-husband.
Any chance that there is anything in the way of papers still at John's? Just a thought............
Hey!!! Stop apologizing for your meltdown. And anyway, in terms of blog meltdowns....I've seen much worse ones. Uh, probably coming from me. And compared to your problems, mine were minor!
I really hope you find that diary.
That's awful that he said next year it will be different. I think for your sons, that would be scary to hear.
I'm sorry : (
Nope, nothing to be sorry for. Get it all, it can be quite cathartic putting it all out there.
And of course when you do, at least blogging it you get feedback and support :-)
((((Hugs))))
Meltdown all you want - I think you deserve it. Good luck finding the diaries !!
oooxxx
God you're incredible. All of you. Thank you.
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